Waistlines don't lie. I had to finally admit the truth. I did not own one pair of shorts that fit properly. And it was time to take action.
Though I probably could have fit into shorts one size smaller a month or two ago, I had been avoiding buying them. Why?
First, pants shopping is just no fun. I challenge you to find one woman who enjoys it. No matter what size you are, it's always hard to find anything that fits exactly right. Also, I was trying to avoid buying new shorts at the end of shorts-wearing season.
But the real reason I resisted buying shorts a size down is because it meant there was no turning back. If I was going to invest in new shorts (and eventually new pants and jeans), I had to fully commit to this. One size down wasn't just a few pounds lost. It represented a lifestyle change in how I ate, exercised, and made a lot of decisions. If I'm going to accept that this smaller size is now MY size, my days of sneaking ice cream before bed were over. And I could never again waste entire weekends loafing around snacking on whatever was in the house because lacing up my running shoes or cooking a proper meal was just too difficult.
And maybe I was also avoiding this little shopping spree because I thought it was supposed to feel different and symbolize something. Long ago, I believed finally going down a size would be a celebration of a brand new Betsy, one who was completely transformed. Though I do feel better, healthier, and more confident, I'm still the same person I was before. I have the same insecurities and the same weaknesses towards sweet treats and Cheez-Its. I'm different than I was 8 months ago, but I'm still the same. Really, my lifestyle is different than it was 8 months ago, but the person I am is the still the same.
I finally bought three new pairs of shorts, all my unnecessary introspectiveness regarding their purchase aside. When it came down to it, I couldn't risk my shorts falling down while I was waiting to checkout at Jewel. And for all the thought that went into this, I laughed at my boyfriend's response when I asked him about my new threads. "They look the same as your other shorts." Yeah, no need to think too deeply into this. Though I'm a few pounds lighter, I think everyone sees me as the same Betsy I was before.